The Test

Warren has obviously been in the loop that Aunt Flo is late. I loved the 4-5 phone calls a day where he would ask 'Any Aunt Flo yet? No? Really? Well, how are you feeling?' It was nice to know he was obsessing nearly as much as me (my obsession took the form of 8-10 bathroom breaks a day, checking for any sign). With the 'don't get our hopes up' rule in place, I kept telling myself I probably just miscalculated, and the Silly Witch was going to surprise me at any moment. After 3 days of waiting though, we decided Friday would be the day we test, if there was still no Aunt Flo. That would be Day 4 of being late.

Well, Friday at 5pm, still nothing. So Warren picked me up and we stopped at Safeway to pick-up a test. Warren was more comfortable with me going in alone, which was fine. I just giggled at him. He is so cute when it comes to these things.

The Safeway we went to was on 4th Street & Elbow Drive. A very dangerous Safeway for me to perform 'Operation Pregnancy Test' because of the extremely HIGH likelihood of running into people we know, especially family members. So I didn't have the luxury of lurking around, analysing the benefits of each test. I had a mental back-up plan though. If an in-law where to suddenly pop out from around the corner, I would grab a Monastat-5 and pretend I had a Yeast Infection. Yes. Perfect Plan.

Eventually I picked up the First Response 2-Pack. I knew no matter what the result was, I would probably want to test again in a few days. It was $20 for 2 tests. When I went to Pharmacy counter, this was the conversation:

Me: Do you have anything cheaper?

Young Pharmacist: Well, there's the Safeway Brand.

Me: Hmmm. Would it be same sensitivity?

Young Pharmacist: Ummm...well they're both accurate.

Me: Ya, but are they both SENSITIVE. You know, to detect low levels...

Young Pharmacist: Looks at Amanda blankly.

(I read on the Internet that the sensitive ones could detect pregnancy even if your pee had really low levels of the pregnancy hormone, but this girl had NO IDEA what I was talking about. Then a MALE Pharmacist comes over, who was equally confused by my question.)

Me: Oh, I'm sure this one will be great, thank-you.

Young Pharmacist: So, do you want to be pregnant?

Me: Yes!

Young Pharmacist: Well, this is a very good test. Good luck!

We didn't take the test immediately because I didn't have to pee yet. So I went downstairs to watch TV and drink water, while Warren continued working upstairs. About 45 minutes later I come upstairs.

Me: I have to pee.

Warren: Okay, go for it.

Me: When I say when, you start the timer on the computer. It says we should check the result at 3 mintues....(pee...pee...pee) Okay, now!

Warren: Kay, the timer is going!

I'm in the washroom, staring at the test, to make sure it's working. White, white, white...About 15 seconds in, the pink line on the right appears to show that it's working. But, it's accompanied by a very clear SECOND pink line on the LEFT. I continue staring. I come out of the washroom to see Warren staring at the timer.

Me: Kay, look at this.

Warren: We're only at the 35 seconds!

Me: It doesn't matter, look!

I hold up the test. I see his eyes looking at the result, then the diagram on the left that says II Pregnant, I Not Pregnant. The result window has a clear II.

It clicks.

Me: Do you know what this means?

Warren: We're...pregnant?

Me: Yes!

Hugs, kiss, Hugs.

These are first things he said:

1. My boys can swim!

2. Now I need to start reading up on how to be Dad, because I don't know how to do that. Yes, that's what I need to do.

3. Oh - we're at 3 minutes.