Lessons In Motherhood

...before I'm officially a mother.

Over the past couple days, maybe since Saturday or Sunday, I've been silently concerned. I was feeling Wellington's movements less, and when I did feel them they were weaker than usual. I'd pay special attention after eating or walking, and not notice much improvement. We went out for a big dinner on Monday night, and I made sure to eat lots in the hopes that the sugar rush would get him hopping. But nothing. When a walk during my lunch hour didn't yield any noticeable improvement, I decided to call Heath Link, to get some advice from a nurse. So, from my desk at work I called. I expected the nurse to reassure me that at 26 weeks baby movements were unpredictable, or that maybe she'd coach me on the art of 'Kick Counts' and give me some homework for the evening. First she asked me all the red-flag questions - Any bleeding? Broken membranes? Contractions? - to which I answered no. Next she asked if it was a 'sudden lack of movement'. What does 'sudden' mean anyways? I told her that I couldn't say it was 'sudden', but that it was enough for me to take notice, and I noticed it starting a couple days ago. I was concerned because I thought the movements should be getting more regular, more forceful - not the other way around. Then, she hit me with it. The Un-Expected Response.

Nurse: Since you are over 20 weeks, you need to go to Labor and Delivery at the hospital you're delivering at, and get checked. And you need to go immediately. We do not want you to drive yourself. Is there anyone who can take you?

Amanda: (stunned)Uhh...well, I can certainly call my husband. I'm sure he could after work.

Nurse: No, you need to go immediately. Is there anyone who can take you right now?

Amanda: Uhhh...ya. My husband. Or, I could take a cab.

Nurse: Okay, good. Call us back afterwards.

I think I sat stunned at my desk for a minute or so. Then the tears started to well up in my eyes. Then I called Warren. No answer. So I emailed him on his Blackberry with the secret 'Amanda' code that he gave me, so that he can identify emails that come from me. I typed "Call me please". Then the phone rang. His voice chimed on the line "Hey Hon, what's up?". Then the tears came full force. I choked through the tears, explaining the situation and that I was making it sound worse than it was, and that I was okay, just emotional.

He was there within 5 minutes, with all his appointments cancelled. I can't put into words how much I love this man.

Not once did he question my judgement. Not once did he ask 'are you sure? is this necessary?'. He just drove. And cussed at any and all drivers who got in his way. Could these people drive any SLOWER!!?? he would holler in frustration. It was then that we laughed at the idea that all expectant couples should be given a siren for the roof of their car.

After getting a teeny tiny bit lost inside the hospital, we finally found the Labor & Delivery unit. I was seen within minutes of getting there. It was a simple test they do - they put 2 monitors on my belly to measure the baby's heart rate (and there was one! Praise The Lord Hallelujah Sweet Mary Mother of God), and I was to lay there and push a little blue button every time I felt a movement. Over the next 45 minutes or so, I pushed the button 6 times. That was really good, the nurse reassured me. She said sometimes all it takes is for a woman to come lay in a hospital bed for the baby to get moving.

This experience taught me a few things. Things I've heard my friends talk about, and am now starting to learn for myself.

1) Trust your gut.
2) Don't let anyone make you feel like an over-protective mom.
3) Better safe than sorry.
4) Nothing is more stressful and emotionally draining than when something could be/is wrong with your baby.
5) Guilt comes in so many forms.
6) My husband will instantly turn into a 'Papa Bear' when he needs to, and he'll do things he wouldn't normally do to get me and Wellington the help we need RIGHT NOW.

5 On Friday: March 27th, 2009

This week, I'm switching it up a bit. I'm going to post 5 of my favorite 'internet videos' at the moment. Or at least ones I've been exposed to lately, that either make laugh, make me think or just generally entertain me. I promise none of them have to do with Battlestar Galactica. Pinky Swear.

Hope you enjoy them too!

1. Lost Generation Video
I saw this on a friend's blog, and loved it. So well done. Written by a 20 year old.


2. Flight of the Concords "Business Time".
Freaking. Hilarious. Had Warren & I rolling on the floor with tears in our eyes.




3. American Rejects sing Britney Spears.
If you've heard Britney's song 'Womanizer', you have to watch this. Brilliant.


4. Who needs a movie?
Omigod. As someone who works in the 'TV Biz', the production quality this couple puts out (and charges for!) is remarkable - remarkably HORRIFIC, that is.


5. Dove 'Evolution'.
Oldie, but a goodie. Always nice to remind ourselves that the images we see in magazines are NOT REAL.

Wellington Watch, 25 weeks

25 weeks (6 months, 1 week).

Weight gain so far: 15lbs

Warren story:

I've noticed Warren has developed a sly way of averting my 'moodiness'. Luckily, he has a very keen sense of when I'm in an agitated mood. He can sense it as soon as he enters the room. I notice that when he senses I'm grouchy, he pretends not to notice, then says "How's the baby doing?" in a cute, chipper voice. Then he smiles and rubs my belly and says "ooh - he's getting big!", and of course that makes me grin from ear to ear, despite myself.

You're a sly devil Warren, but I'm on to you!

"Deep Thoughts", from Warren:

Because we've been getting second hand baby items, naturally I've wanted to run them through the wash before using them on Wellington. So I tried to do a bit of research on what type of laundry detergent etc is 'okay' to use on baby stuff. I discovered that non-chlorinated bleach is less irritating to skin, and that fabric softeners contain a lot of chemicals so it's best to avoid them.

We were at Zellers and I was telling Warren all this, as we roamed the laundry isle. Then he made a very profound statement:

Warren: It seems to me that the things we use to get rid of the dirt, have become more harmful than the dirt itself.

He's very wise, that man of mine. Maybe he should write Chinese Proverbs for a living?

Symptoms/Feelings/Etc:

Lately I find that when I've been sitting for a while (20 to 30 minutes), my right leg gets numb as soon as I stand up. It's a numb/tired kind of sensation, similar to when you've been exercising a lot and your legs get really heavy and tired. It goes away after a couple minutes, and it only ever happens to my right leg.

Also, the baby movements have evolved a bit. Now there are moments that feel like a definite 'pushing' against my stomach wall. On Monday, for the first time I actually felt this sensation in two places at the same time. Maybe it was a hand and a foot? A knee and and an elbow?

Seeking Advice:

First of all, I want to say how much I appreciate the advice we've been getting from friends. I thought I'd be annoyed with too much advice, but honestly - I'm finding it so helpful! Advice on strollers, vacations - it's all been great!

So here's a question for my mom readers...Warren & I plan to buy 2 car seats, so no matter what, either one of us is capable of driving with Wellington, no matter which vehicle is handy. We realise this doubles our cost, and I looked online and it seems car seats run from $200 - $300 on average. So buying 2, each time we upgrade, seems a bit pricey.

So my question is...in your experience, do you think it would be better to simply have a car seat base in each vehicle? Do you think 2 car seats is overkill? Did you have one in each car? If yes, was it useful? If not, were there times when it would have saved you some juggling and/or stress?

Food/cravings:

A lot of people ask if I've had any weird cravings, and I honestly can't think of any. But thought I'd document what foods I've been enjoying these days, even if they're not weird.

1) Cereal, with ice cold milk and fruit.

2) French fries.

3) Lattes.

4) Dried apricots and almonds.

5) Chocolate.

6) Tuna wraps.

7) Sour Soothers candy.

5 On Friday: March 20th, 2009

1. Finished another Jodi Picoult book - Salem Falls. This one finally had a good ending! And I liked how she cleverly showed how evidence in a trial can appear to prove someone is guilty, when they're not...and how important it is to find out the whole story before judging someone. Now I'm on to her book 'Mercy'. Not sure the subject matter is something I'm going to enjoy (adultery and mercy killing - fun!), but I'm trying to give it a fair shot. I might have to switch to something a bit 'lighter' next...like maybe the 'Twilight' series?

2. Watched 2 great movies last weekend - that were complete opposites. 'Changeling' and 'Tropic Thunder'. I recommend both, with caveats. Tropic Thunder definitely crosses the line at points - but is a great satire, and Changeling is very upsetting at moments, but is a great drama (and shockingly based on a true story).

3. Warren & I are trying to think of a quick, cheap holiday we could take in May, to somewhere warm (our trip to Regina for a family wedding doesn't count). Right now we're thinking maybe another Vegas trip, because we still haven't been to the Grand Canyon or Fairmont Street. Throw in a show, a nice dinner, some shopping and a relaxing bath - and maybe some time by the pool - and it could be quite a delightful little vacation. Any other ideas/suggestions?

4. No one else will find this video entertaining, except Warren & I (and maybe my mom). Sorry.

I Love Battlestar Galactica You Tube Video.

The tune is oddly catchy, and it's worth checking out simply for the guy's tiny red shorts!

(P.S. - someone needs to tell me how to embed You Tube videos on Blogger...)

5. Amanda's Pet Peeve of the Day:

We've all heard the news reports about BPA in plastics, and how it's the devil and slowly killing us and our children. Well, the other day Global had a news story about how BPA was found in the inner lining of pop cans. So the soft drinks themselves were tested, and it was discovered that - *gasp* - the drink DID in fact contain BPA! Oh, the horror! But then the story ends by telling us that the amount was so minute that a person would have to drink 900 cans of pop A DAY to go over the safe BPA level limit. How the heck does that qualify as news?

6. We got our City of Calgary 'Blue Box' yesterday :-)

7. In case anyone out there is wondering - Warren has NOT blocked you from his blog, or gone private. He is just offline for the time being. He'll be back to his usual antics soon enough.

Wellington Watch, 24 weeks

24 wks (6 months)

Weight gain so far: 12lbs

We're narrowing in on the stroller we like. I have found the stroller shopping most stressful of all things baby-related. It just seems like the wrong choice can make your life harder than it needs to be. Anyway, we're looking at the Bumbleride 'Indie'. It's lightweight, and can roll over snow, sand, grass & gravel, and it comes with a universal car seat adapter. I like the Green/Blue option, and Warren likes the Orange/Blue option. So, as a pathetic compromise, we've decided neither of us should be happy and we'll likely go with Red. I've set up a handy POLL to the right though, to get your opinions! And if anyone out there has this stroller, let us know what you think of it...

Now, a big public thank-you to Sean & Sue (who don't read this blog, so this thank-you is kind of in vain) who gave us 2 hand-me down baby carriers on the weekend.

1) Snuggli, for when Wellington is tiny (and for when I take him to Folk Fest before his 1 month anniversary - which I'm convinced I'll do, but Warren thinks I'm nuts).

2) MEC backpack style, for when Wellington grows into a butter ball and can hold his head up (Warren will look so handsome carrying his son around in a little backpack!).

Things that have surprised me about this whole 'expecting a baby' business so far:

1) Planning a wedding was WAY more stressful.

2) It took a lot longer than I expected for my belly to get big.

3) I expected it to feel like I was just 'getting fat', but it feels more like someone has strapped a 10lb water balloon around my belly, so bending, moving and generally getting around feels just plain awkward.

Extra cool milestone this week:

At 6 months in utero, Wellington would have a 1 in 5 chance of survival if he was born this week. It's hard to imagine that the little baby inside me, whom I can barely feel moving around, is a fully formed (but not fully mature obviously) little human. I can certainly wait a few more months to meet him, so no labor for me this week! You hear that Wellington? Enjoy the warmth of my womb - you've still got lots of growing to do...

Warren story:

Warren met a couple buddies for drinks this week. They are old friends of his, and they are both dads now. So they were giving him lots of advice and such. One thing they told him was that at the child birthing classes they make the men wear a 'pregnancy suit' ie. A fake baby bump! Hahahahaha! That is going to be the most unattractive sight I've ever seen! Payback BAY-BAY!

Cute comment from my nephew:

Our nephew, Liam, said he wants us to name the baby Stewart, after the character 'Stewie' in Family Guy, so that him and Stewart can rule the world together.

St. Paddy's Day Poem

Twas the eve of St. Patrick,

and all through the streets, 

drunks laughed and fell over,

and spilled beer at their feet.

My work was all done, 

Ceili's called out my name,

so out I went for some fun,

and flirted without shame.

A leprechaun approached me,

height and wit were his lure.

I was smitten from the get go,

and so was he, that's for sure.

Cut to 8 years later,

we're life mates and we're blessed,

with a wee blarney babe,

who will soon join our nest.

I love you Hon! Happy Date-We-Met-Anniversary.

5 On Friday: March 13th, 2009

1. Okay. I'm getting really annoyed with my 'expecting a baby ticker' at the top of this blog. Every time I come to my home page, the ticker isn't there and instead there is an irritating blue question mark in it's place. If I click the question mark, I'm redirected to the bump.com website, and when I return to my blog, the ticker is there in all it's glory. WHY? Is this happening to you people too? I went with the bump.com ticker because I liked their designs, but what's the point if it never shows up properly? Wellington deserves a better countdown than this!

2. Phew. Glad I got that off my chest. Hormonal-outburst-over-something-insignificant is over...

3. I don't know if all the 'normal' couples out there will understand my excitement over the fact that Warren is OFF THIS WEEKEND. We are so envious of couples/families who predictably have evenings and weekends off together. Warren has only had 2 days off in the last 2 weeks - a Wednesday and a Friday. We're planning a breakfast date on Sunday at 1886 with a few friends, a walk around the island, and then a coffee & shopping in Kensington. Seems so simple, but I am SO excited. I'll have to make sure he brings his camera, so we can document it! Thank-you Calgary sunshine!

4. This week on American Idol the contestants sang Michael Jackson songs. Now, I know MJ has grown into a controversial weirdo, but I have to admit that I'm one those people that would probably scream, cry and dissolve into a puddle if I were to ever see him perform live. It goes back to my childhood, when I would watch taped concerts of him on VHS and just cry the whole time (gawd, I miss that teen obsession feeling...). ANYWAYS, 'Dangerous' is my favorite MJ album, and I was thrilled that so many contestants chose songs from it. Is it sad that I was 'thrilled' by something on American Idol?

5. Just finished watching Part 1 of 2 of the Battlestar Galactica finale...next week is the final 2 hour episode (they really know how to drag things out - but in a good way!). Humanity's final chapter is about to be written, people! Is Kara Thrice really the harbinger of death who will lead them all to their end? Is Galactica the dying leader that will bring them home? Are we all Cylons? Will God's plan finally be revealed? Could this post sound any GEEKY-ER???

Wellington Watch, 23 weeks

23wks (5 months, 3 weeks)

Weight gain so far: 11lbs.

First, a comparison, shall we?

Wellington, 11 weeks:


Wellington, 20 weeks:

UN-REAL.

We didn't get the crib put together this week, so I'll save the nursery pics until that's done.

But, we did manage to take a belly pic or 2.

Symptoms/Feelings/Etc:

For the past few weeks I've been feeling our tiny baby move. For my own memory sake, I'll try to describe the sensation, as I'm sure it will escape me once other, more forceful sensations begin to dominate my uterus. The pregnancy books describe the first movements as a 'fluttering' or a 'quickening'. What the heck is a 'quickening', anyways? I would describe the really early sensations as 'pops' and 'twitches', similar to gas I guess. Then it morphed to a tickle. Sometimes really quick and isolated, other times longer - and more spread out - right across the front of my abdomen. Now it's like the tiniest, gentlest 'pokes' and twitches. I can be in a foul, stressed mood at work - maybe someone is handing me a painful assignment, or pointing out a mistake I made - but as soon as I feel one of those movements, a tiny grin always makes it's way onto my face. As if suddenly, nothing else in the world matters, for that brief moment.

Pregnancy items I couldn't live without:

1. My Bella Band.

2. Bra extenders.

3. My microwavable heating pad.

4. My Ikea bench, so I can sit to put on my shoes.

Pregnancy items I'd like to purchase:

1. Body Pillow, as sleeping is becoming increasingly uncomfortable.

2. Support stockings, to prevent swelling & varicose veins (hopefully).

3. More Bee Hive Belly Lotion, because I'm almost out and I love it!

Things that make me feel guilty:

1. Too often I chose french fries over a side salad when I'm at a restaurant. Last time I checked, fries weren't a part of the 'Best Odds Diet'.

2. I eat too much chocolate.

3. I haven't been exercising much, and I use the weather as an excuse, even though I own an exercise bike & a prenatal yoga DVD.

4. There has been the odd time that I've NEEDED a full-caf coffee, even though I swore off caffeine at the beginning of the pregnancy.

Things that make me feel optimistic:

1. We have a great support system of friends and family - really.

2. My mom has so many holidays to use up, that she offered to take days off work just to 'give me a break' or help me with errands etc.

3. My mother in law lives 3 minutes away, and has offered to make meals for us in those early weeks.

4. I'm saving up so that we can hire a cleaning lady for later in the pregnancy and after Wellington is born.

5. The nursery is almost ready.

Warren Quotes:

Tonight Warren came up from behind me as I was loading the dishwasher and said "Wow, your bump's getting big!". I thought he said 'Your BUM is getting big'. I laughed and told him what I thought he said, and his reply was 'No way - you're around way too many knives for a comment like that'. We've decided he will now say 'Wow, the BABY is getting big'.

5 On Saturday: March 7th, 2009

1. Last week 'T' sent a few of us an email asking us to send/post a photo of our pantries, because apparently you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their pantry. The only rule was you had to take the photo 'as is' - no tidying!

My analysis is that my pantry says 'Amanda lives in an old house, with a G-H-E-T-T-O pantry. A pantry that doesn't even count as a pantry. It's more like a food cupboard. She apparently likes canned lentils a bit too much, and hoards plastic bags.' I think that would be a great profile description on Lava Life, don't you agree?

But I do love those 1950's Tupperware lid holders on the door! Whenever someone house sits for us, they can never find the lids, because the bottoms are in a drawer, and the lids are in the pantry.

2. Every once in a while I'm oddly drawn to the TLC show 'Toddlers & Tiaras'. It's about the US child pageant circuit. I try SO HARD not to judge the families (mostly mothers) on that show, but damn I find the whole thing creepy. I don't understand the concept of a child beauty/talent contest that requires the child to look like a grown-up, and I don't understand spending $3000 on a dress for a 4 year old. Not to mention the superficial message it sends to these little girls. But there I go...judging.

3. Warren was in a cheeky mood this morning. I wanted to load the pantry photo onto the Mac (I'm used to doing that on the PC). So I looked for the little slit where I could slide the camera card into, but couldn't find one.

Amanda: Do I need a cable to load photos onto the Mac?

Warren: Yup, (grabs it out of the camera bag and hands it to me) how's that for service!

Amanda: (looks blankly at the cable and back at the camera). Do I plug it in to the camera? I don't see a hole that matches the cable?

Warren: (takes the camera and cable away from Amanda). Nope, no plugging. You simply hold the end of the cable over the camera, wave it around, and it will pick-up 'photo' signals in the area.

Jackass.

4. Last 2 episodes EVER of Battlestar Galactica next Friday! Then, we have the prequel 'Caprica' to look forward to!

5. I'm thinking of leaving my long-time dentist. I've been going to the same dentist my whole life, but he's no longer convenient and my ortho-dentist at Chinook has TVs at every station, and a spa attached! But I feel SO GUILTY and am afraid to call. Is that weird?

Wellington Watch, 22 weeks

22 wks (5 1/2 months)

This is a new feature I will **try** to do every Wednesday. It'll be updates on the pregnancy, like belly pics, nursery pics, symptom updates, funny stories, that type of thing. Not sure if there will be note worthy items to mention every week, but I hope so :-) And this way, if I have any readers who aren't interested in reading my pregnancy babble, they can just skip Wellington Watch posts!

Last weekend I was a nesting MACHINE.

At first I didn't believe in the whole '2nd trimester burst of energy' they talk about in all the pregnancy books, but I seriously have never felt that kind of drive to get something done in my life. I went to Ikea TWICE - and put together 5 pieces of furniture ON MY OWN. It consumed me. I even brushed off previous engagements in order to keep the momentum going (Jakzen, I'm so sorry - I was there in spirit, I promise!). I even insisted on finishing the 5th piece at 9:45pm Sunday night, after getting home from Warren's birthday dinner at his parent's place. My back was WRECKED by the end of it all, but like I said - I couldn't fight the drive to get it all done.

3 of the items were nursery items (2 bookcases and a side table), one item was a bench for the front entrance (I need to sit to put on shoes these days), and the last item was a sofa table for the living room, to hide ugly cords and cables. I will post nursery progress photos next week, because I think the crib might be put together by then.

No belly pics yet, because I just haven't decided how I want to 'do' them. Fully clothed, or in yoga pants and sports bra? Show my face, or not? Silhouette and artsy, or more traditional? Plus I need to find time when my husband isn't busy working so he can take the photos. All I can say is Wellington is growing like a weed, and I swear my belly is swelling by the day. I am kicking myself for not taking a belly photo the day I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure I'll ever see that belly again.