A Conversation With Warren

This afternoon (5 days overdue)...

Amanda: This has been the longest pregnancy EVER.

Warren: I know what you mean. It feels like you've been pregnant for two years.

Amanda: I guess that makes me like an elephant...gestating for two years.

Warren: Elephants gestate for three years. So, you're more like a Rhino.

Amanda: I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.

Warren: Well, I could have said Hippo, but I didn't. Because I'm sensitive.

Paddington Watch, 39 weeks and 6 days

39 weeks + 6 days (night before the due date)

Baby is the size of a watermelon (no kidding!).

Weight gain so far: 30.5 lbs

The theme of this post is my sweet little Rhysie Pie. I have been very nostalgic the last couple of days. Looking at his baby pictures and watching the videos of his first year have reminded me how truly amazing kids are, and how blessed I am to be a mom. Especially to be Rhys' mom.

One of the big 'house projects' we had to undergo to make room for Paddington, was transform our crappy office/spare room into a big boy bedroom for Rhys. This was a a process I LOVED. First of all - I never liked the room before. It was always cluttered and messy and disorganized and was just never set up properly as either an office or a spare room. It was very mediocre at both jobs. But we saw the potential. It's certainly not a designer kids room. It's not matchy-matchy, it's not perfectly colour coordinated. But I love it. It's cozy, warm, soothing and we put a lot of love and effort into getting it ready just for him.

First - here is the AMAZING shelf my dad scored (for free!) from a kid's toy store that went out of business. It is an actual Thomas the Tank Engine merchandise display case. SERIOUSLY:

Cute colourful curtains from Ikea for his closet:

His 'Rhys You Are A Rockstar' poster, along with his Boxer dog picture from his Nana:

Left airplane painting - Warren bought it in an antique store in England when he was 9 years old and had it framed. Right airplane painting - Warren bought for Rhys at the Comic Convention in Calgary, signed by the artist with a 'Best Wishes for Rhys' note and gave it to Rhys on his 2nd birthday:

The wall decals I painstakingly applied in my pregnant state... could do about 3 a night before my back would be DONE (and as you can see, we chose to keep him in his crib until he's ready to move to his big boy bed - luckily there is room for both):

(Cute side note about the stars on the ceiling... Rhys said to Warren one night "I want to fly through the sky and sit on a star!):

These next photos are what I call the 'Waiting For Baby' pics. First, I helped Rhys make a 'gift' to take to the hospital and give to Paddington when he meets him for the first time:

Here is Rhys testing out our new (second hand) sit 'n stand stroller (or as we all call it, the 'Rhys Train'):

Making sure 'the baby' is safe and snug in his carseat:

Rhys with 'the baby' in the baby's new crib:

"Mommy, baby is hungry!":

Putting baby in the swing:

Dressing the baby:

*SIGH*. I love this little boy.

Paddington Watch, 38 Weeks

38 weeks (9.5 months)

Weight Gain: 29.5 lbs

Baby’s Got Bag

Last week I had my 37 week doctor’s appointment, and the doc mentioned that Paddington is now full term and that he could come anytime and they’d be okay with that. She also mentioned that all my paperwork has been sent to the hospital, so everything is ready to go. I left that appointment in a mild panic. I immediately went to Zellers and purchased newborn diapers, size 1 diapers, some fresh sleepers and receiving blankets and some ‘emergency’ formula. Felt much better after that. With a bassinet at home, he now has a place to sleep, and diapers to poop in. Phew.

Big Brother Rhys

This kid is melting my heart these days. First, when we moved the new change table to the nursery (Rhys’ old room), he insisted on laying on it. I could not believe how big my ‘baby’ looked.


He’s also taken a big interest in a teddy bear he has, and has adopted this teddy bear as his ‘baby sister’. He puts ‘her’ to bed, kisses her, closes the door and says ‘shhhh...baby is sleeping’, and feeds her a bottle while rocking her in his little kid sized rocking chair. I’m thinking the key will be to make sure he feels involved in baby duties and that we let him help whenever we can, no matter how much easier it would be to just do things ourselves. Paddington is going to be a very lucky baby, I think. Did anyone else find their older child liked helping with the baby? Or am I delusional and this is really just a fun game for him to play with an inanimate toy bear? It’s okay to be honest. I’m pretty sure I am fully underestimating how incredibly hard the transition to two children is going to be.

Unexpected Sadness

We gave notice at the daycare today, and both Warren and I were surprised at how sad we feel about taking him out. How ridiculous is that? All the heartache we went through putting him in daycare, and now we’re sad to be taking him out. Seems so silly. But he thrives there, and the daycare Director kept going on about how Rhys’ little buddy ‘Jasper’ will miss him. And it’s true. If Rhys was staying, and Jasper’s mom was having another baby and took him out – I’d be devastated! I think I will always remember Jasper as Rhys’ very first ‘friend’. I’ll miss asking him at the end of everyday ‘what did you do today?’, and hearing his sweet voice answer back with ‘I played! With Jasper and Ms. Connie!’ I have a lump in my stomach about it all, really, which I know doesn’t make any sense. I’m looking forward to the time I’ll have with Rhys at home this year. But I’m still sad about it. I want the best of both worlds. I want my cake, and to eat it too. I’m just going to have to try very hard to make sure he continues to ‘thrive’ at home with me and Paddington.

Belly Pics

Extra cool milestone this week: Today was my last day of work. Baby is due in 12 days, so time to tackle the 'nesting' TO-DO LIST!

Paddington Watch, 34 weeks

34 weeks – Paddington is the size of a honeydew melon.


Weight gain so far: 25 lbs


Room Progress
What’s more fun than decorating a nursery? Decorating a toddler room, of course! We took a week long ‘stay-cation’ a week ago, and used some of the time emptying out our spare room/office to make space for Rhys’ new ‘Big Boy’ room. So far I’ve bought him a new dinosaur pillow case from a craft show, a new duvet cover, and some fun wall decals. I'll post photos when it's closer to completion.

The plan is to move him into his new room/bed over Christmas – we’re just waiting for the new office room in the basement to be ready (as Warren would say, it is a symphony of room shuffling in our house!). If the transition is a nightmare, our back-up plan is to move his crib into the new room until he’s used to sleeping in there, and Paddington can sleep in a pack ‘n play until Rhys is out of his crib. Any advice/anecdotes on the transition to a big boy bed? Do we really need a bedrail (his big boy bed is just a regular single bed, not a toddler bed)? I doubt he’ll fall out of the bed, but I wonder if a bedrail offers some familiar security to toddlers, making their bed feel more like a crib? I just don’t want to waste money on a product we don’t need.


The Name Game
We’ve had a name chosen for Paddington for a long time, but we were keeping an open mind in case a name came along that we liked better. As time passed, we began calling him by his name to test it out and get a feel for it. Now there is no turning back. We love his name, and it would feel strange to call him by any other. I really need to watch myself around other people, because I’ve nearly blurted it out without thinking.

Back when Rhys was still ‘Wellington’ we had a baby pool going where people would pay 2 dollars to guess his name. No one got it right. For fun, here is a list of all the guesses (a number beside the name indicates how many people guessed that same name):

• Michael (2)


• Edward


• Christopher


• Timothy


• Josh (2)


• Drake


• Cohen


• Heath


• John


• Jack (6)


• Benjamin


• Scott


• Stephen


• Henry


• Daniel


• Evan (2)


• Euan


• Mark


• James


• Sean


• Rhuaridy (Rory)


• Johnathon


• Sam


• Peter


• Paul


• Andrew


• Tobias (Toby)

Do you think Paddington’s name is on this list? Only time will tell!

Preggo Pics
Another thing we did on our ‘stay-cation’, was have a night away together while my mom babysat overnight at our place. We rented a room at the Hyatt in downtown Calgary, did some Christmas shopping in The Core, and went out for dinner at Saltlik. Here are 2 pics of my big-ole pregnant self that I made Warren take of me before dinner (and yes, in case you're wondering, the weave has been taken out for the time being...):

Before getting ready for dinner, I was sitting on a sofa chair in the room in jeans and a black tank top, reading some gossip magazines. I looked up and saw Warren staring at my bulging belly. As his eyes grew wider he asked me ‘Are you SURE I don’t need to take you to the hospital RIGHT NOW?’. He redeemed himself later on, after taking the above photos, when he said my belly ‘didn’t look as big when I was standing up’.


Reality Check
Rhys has been sick. Not overly sick at first, but was running a fever and having some really bad nights and a wee bit of vomiting. He also had some really rough nights of inconsolable screaming (my guess is ear infection). In the morning after one of these ‘rough nights’, Warren groaned ‘Gawd...when we have TWO kids this is really going to SUCK’. Yaaahhh. It’s hard to imagine coping with nights like that when you also have a second child waking up and needing you. Our new mantra is ‘They don’t stay little for long...they don’t stay little for long...’. Hopefully I can remind myself of this when we’re in the throws of misery. I also try to remind myself of all the magical, amazing moments we have to look forward to with a new little person in our house.

Paddington Watch, 30 Weeks

30 weeks (7 months, two weeks)

Weight gain so far: 20 lbs

Things I’m Thankful For

I did such a good job of posting weekly ‘Wellington Watch’ updates, and I’m thankful. It’s been nice going back and reading those posts, because I’m realising a lot of my current ailments (severe back pain, poor eyesight, moodiness) were all present with my Rhys pregnancy. This is reassuring. I also appreciate all the photos I took, how honest I was, the topics I chose to write about, and the fact that I posted my weight gain progress. I find it fascinating to compare for some reason.

I’m also really thankful for grandparents, and the large amount of family who live in the same city as us. If there is anything I have learned over the last 2 years it’s that it truly takes a village.

Emotions I’m Toying with Lately

I’m not sure how exactly to put it into words, but I’ve got this anxious/sad/worrisome feeling about how having another child will affect my relationship with Rhys. Right now Rhys is my EVERYTHING. But surely this new little boy will be my everything as well? How can I have TWO ‘everythings’? My heart breaks just thinking about it. I worry that all this means is that Rhys gets LESS. Less of me, less of Warren, less of his grandparents. I think I need some words of wisdom and experience from my mom friends. And I don’t want generic wisdom like ‘there is room in your heart for both kids’ or whatever. I need real advice, a real heads-up on what to expect. Will Rhys suddenly annoy me with his energy in comparison to the sleepy little bundle of joy? Will I find the new baby boring and needy compared to Rhys’ comedic and independent personality? Will I want to document every little thing Paddington does the way I did with Rhys, or will it be a ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing? It’s so hard to imagine what it will be like. When Rhys was tiny I would sing this song to him “Whooooo’s got...the cutest little chin....in the whole wide world? Rhyyyyyys does!” And I would cycle through all his little body parts. But how can this new baby have the cutest of anything, with Rhys standing right there? Again. Heart breaking.

Gender & Honesty Overload

The reality that I will not have a daughter took a little while to sink in, I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t a feeling of disappointment at all – I describe it more as a feeling of openended-ness. As if I lacked some closure. A door was still left open. It was unsettling. In some ways I felt like I had to ‘put on a brave face’ because how awful is it to not to be overjoyed in every way possible when you’re expecting a healthy baby? I read a lot of blogs about families who have been to hell and back when it comes to fertility, prematurity, lifelong disabilities and even death. I consider myself someone who has a good, or at least modest, perspective on the topic. And yet, I still had to put on a brave face. And I am ashamed of that.

But the wonderful thing is, that after a few short days of ‘letting it sink in’, I quickly filled with excitement and the feeling of ‘this is just right’.

A close friend of mine recently had a baby girl – we both had our boys at the same time – and someone at work said to her ‘Welcome to the Million Dollar Family Club’. I heard this, and my heart sank. Because that’s how it is, isn’t it? The perfect mom/dad/boy/girl and a family dog. Picture Perfect. But the reality is, no family is perfect. Or, maybe more true is all our families are perfect. Just what we need. Just what our kids need. A boy tribe. A girl tribe. A mixed tribe. Our tribe.

I’m thrilled to have a life to look forward to with ‘My Boys’. Sweet, polite, cuddly, rough & tumble, eating worms and breaking hearts, boys.

Belly Pics

According to my pregnancy ticker, Paddington is the size of a squash right now. Good times. I love squash. P.S. - I think these photos are proof that black IS slimming. Seriously. My belly looks double the size when it's 'naked'.

Things I am LOVING these days

Bravado nursing bra. OMG. I wish I had this last time. I hated all my nursing bras last time. This one is SO comfortable. SO supportive. NO under wire. It’s heaven. I think I will buy one every pay period until Paddington is born.

My EMU boots. I got these last Christmas from my mom, and they are a god-send right now. Soft. Slip on. Don’t need socks. Room for swollen feet at the end of the day. Perfect.

Kijiji. I’ve bought a designer changing table, a Shermag rocker & ottoman and a handmade pine TV hutch with 2 bookcases for the living room. All for under $400.

My Weave. It’s going to be hard to say good-bye to my long hair when the time comes.

Paddington Watch, 27 weeks

27 weeks (6 months, 3 weeks)

I cannot believe it's been 7 weeks since my last Paddington update. Seriously - this pregnancy is whizzing by me in a blur. Yet, at the same time, when I think that I've been pregnant since before Mother's Day, I can't help but feel like I've been pregnant forever.

The Good

I'm at the 'can feel the baby moving all the time' phase. This is the part I think a lot of women miss later on. This is the part we yearn for when our babies have grown up a little. Last night, in bed, I grabbed Warren's hand and placed it on my bare belly so he could feel Paddington pushing and bouncing around in there. The baby seems to get very active around 10pm, when I'm settling into bed, so it was the perfect opportunity to lay there, quietly, and connect with our little boy together.

The Bad

My body is not holding up well this time around, I'm afraid. My bones hurt - especially my shins and hips. My lower back aches all the time, and sometimes when I'm walking, or standing up after sitting for a while, I literally need to support my back with my hands and waddle. Other times, I get sharp, sudden pangs of pain that shoot out from my tail bone - almost like a pinched nerve. I feel like a senior citizen. And not the 'ran my first marathon at the age of 70' type of senior citizen. This is also pushing me into that awful stage of pregnancy where I start to wonder 'Is my body ready for the physical demands of labour and delivery? Will my body ever feel fit and strong again? Is this damage permanent?'

The Ugly

I would say, without question, the biggest difference I notice between my pregnancy with Rhys, and this one, is my mood(s). I feel like a grade-A bi*tch most of the time. I'm extremely hormonal and it's not uncommon for me to be on the floor crying while I screw a new light bulb into the floor lamp. I'm snippy with the adults around me (read: Warren and my mom). I have zero patience or empathy. Oh, sorry, you feel light headed and tired? Suck it up. I work full-time, have a 2 year old and I'm nearly 7 months pregnant - what's your excuse?

What I'm Worried About

I call Paddington my 'Sugar Baby', because my sweet tooth these days is seriously out of control. I could eat sugar non-stop all day, and some days - I kind of do. Sour soothers and chocolate covered blueberries are a daily treat. I don't say no to donuts as often as I should (read: hardly ever). Recently at a 4 year old's birthday party I wanted a second piece of cake so bad, that I cut a second helping for myself under the guise that Rhys 'wanted some more icing'. I didn't want to admit I was the cliche pregnant woman who wanted more cake. Anyway, I'm worried Paddington will come out as a rolly-polly 10-pounder who looks more like a 3 month old and won't fit any of the newborn onesies. And my senior citizen body probably won't be able to push out a baby that big.

What I'm Excited About

I'm excited to see what Paddington looks like. All I can picture is Rhys. I look at my friends' kids, and they are all unique and special and distinct from their siblings, so it's fun to try and guess how he'll be different from his brother. I'm excited that this time around a newborn might not be as shocking to our system as it was the first time. I'm excited to see this baby through Rhys' eyes. But most of all - I am so excited to have a family of four. To be complete. To be 'The Cronins'.

Paddington Watch, 20 Weeks

20 weeks

I would love to write a more substantial update this week, but I'm wasted from work plus I'm battling a head cold/allergies, so some photos is all I can muster.

First, some photos of Paddington from the 'inside'...

The full body profile (a popular classic):

Close-up profile (love that button nose already):

Body snap shot from behind:

Cute hands and fingers by face:

A little wave to his parents:

And my personal favourite, a tiny baby foot (and yes, she confirmed there are indeed two of them):

Lastly a photo of Paddington from the 'outside', marking the half-way point of this pregnancy:

Paddington Watch, 19 Weeks

19 weeks

Big news this week: We know the sex of our baby.

We had our ultrasound last Wednesday, and Paddington was floating around lazily on the screen. The technician captured lots of shots of legs, feet, ankles and spines. Then it came time for the money shot.

Technician: Did you want to know the gender?

Amanda: Yes we do – BUT – we don’t want you tell us. We were hoping you could write it down on this card for us to open later?

Technician: Oooh. Well, we generally don’t like to do that.

Amanda: What? Why not?

Technician: It’s a liability thing. Once we’ve written it down it becomes like an official report. But...I’ll do it for you guys, as long as you understand....

Amanda: We understand.

So Warren and I closed our eyes as she ventured down to the sacred land to snap shots of Paddington’s personal bits.

The sealed envelope sat in my car for the rest of the day (I totally didn’t trust Warren with it). Later that night we set up the video camera so that we could tape ourselves opening it, with Rhys by our side.

And the winner is....



So, the common reaction, albeit a bit of a ‘joke’ reaction is “So...you’ll be having three kids then?”. Hardy har har, people.

I am crafting an entire post around this news, my reaction and feelings etc, that should surface later this week.

I think my favourite comment so far came from my mother in law who said ‘Wow! An English King would have LOVED you!”. I think she’s been watching too many episodes of The Tudors.

The really nice thing, in my view, is that so far, Warren and I have a really great track record of making sweet, darling little boys :-)

And, to my dear friend TJA – I promise a belly pic next week (because I do not want you to turn into a Basoomba).

Paddington Watch, 18 Weeks

18 weeks

Things to note this week:

This week we get our routine ultrasound, where we can find out the sex. I thought it would be really fun to NOT know the gender this time around (I think the anticipation would be awesome), but Warren is really, really adamant that he wants to know. He’s laying it on thick.

Warren: So, we're finding out then, right?

Amanda: But...we found out with Rhys because you wanted to...so isn't it my turn to pick?

Warren: No way. I NEED to know. I need to visualize and imagine this baby in our lives.

Amanda: But...

Warren: My parents are getting old you know...what if something were to happen...it would mean a lot for them to know the sex of their next grandchild.

Amanda: But...

Warren: Remember, you get to bond with the baby right from the start. I want to be able to bond and connect with this baby too and this is the one thing that can make this more real for me.

Amanda: But...we're probably only having two kids, so this is my last chance to do it this way. What if I resent you for the rest of my life for denying me this one little thing?

Warren: Who are you trying to kid? You will find plenty of other reasons to resent me.

He's got me there.

So...we’ll be finding out the sex. And, I have to admit...I am so excited! Sweet Paddington Bear – what are you?

What’s been different this time around:

- My body feels much older this pregnancy.

- The first trimester was worse this pregnancy. (read: nausea, fatigue & headaches.)

- My boobs are now BASOOMBAS and I’m pretty sure they’ll start leaking milk soon.

- I’ve had 2 charming symptoms I didn’t have last time...acne & bloody gums.

- I’m not pre-occupied with what size of fruit the baby matches, what is ‘developing’ this week, and all that (although I do still check the books once in a while).

- I haven’t given up caffeine.

- I’m wearing mostly flat shoes.

- I would live in leggings if it didn’t mean I would look the same every single day.

- I’m waaaay moodier with zero filter or regard for people’s feelings...just ask Warren & my mom.

Paddington Watch (aka Wellington Watch 2.0)

Being 17 weeks pregnant with one ultrasound and two doctor appointments under my belt, that all scream ‘Healthy! Boring! Normal!’, I figure it’s time to start blogging about this latest change in our lives.

So, I’m introducing baby-on-the-way number two. Paddington.

Beautiful, isn’t she? Okay, I hope that didn’t cause coffee to gush out your nose. We do not know the sex. But my gut tells me girl. And here are my highly scientific, fool proof reasons why I feel this way. (Editor’s note: this gut feeling should not to be confused with an overwhelming desire for a girl. It’s just a feeling I have. If Paddington is a boy, I will be surprised, but NOT disappointed. And that’s the honest truth).

Theory #1

My brother Adam was born in July. My brother is a boy. Rhys was born in July. Rhys is a boy. I was born in January. I am a girl. Paddington is due to be born in January. Hence – unarguably a girl.

Theory #2

The online gender predictor predicted that Rhys would be a girl. It was wrong. The same online gender predictor predicts that Paddington is a boy. Wrong the first time, wrong the second time. That’s just solid science.

Theory #3

With Rhys, Warren and I were very much in reproductive mode. I was taking my temperature every morning and knew the exact moment to strike. This time around, we were much more spontaneous. Kind of a sudden ‘wouldn’t it fun if we just stopped being so careful?’ kind of thing. And for reasons that can only be explained by good science... this means girl.

Theory #4

The 12 week ultrasound. Tell me this little darling doesn’t look dainty and precious, like a little girl would?

Theory #5

The heartbeat. So far, Paddington’s heartbeat is in the 150 – 170’s, and Rhys’ was in the 130s. Girl.

Theory #6

This pregnancy has sucked so far. A big contrast to the gloriousness I experienced with Rhys. Only a daughter can cause a mother this much suffering.

There is one wrench in my theories, however. The other night I had a dream that Paddington was a boy. In my dream, Paddington was already born, but I still didn't want to know the sex (dreams are so weird!) and I was changing the diaper and caught a glimpse of 'it'. And 'it' was a boy. Maybe Rhys will get the 'Brodder' he keeps asking for after all.

So now what am I supposed to think? Gut feeling or Dream? I'm stumped. Thank goodness I can rest assured it will be one or the other. Like all parents, I just want my baby to be born healthy. And for it to have my nose.

To round off this first entry of Paddington Watch, here are 3 posts I wrote in the earlier days, listed in the order they were written (note: I was in a dark place for one of them, that I am no longer in. So don’t worry for me).

January Baby

Flipped a Switch

Fear and Self Loathing in Las Pregnancy