30 weeks (7 months, two weeks)
Weight gain so far: 20 lbs
Things I’m Thankful For
Things I’m Thankful For
I did such a good job of posting weekly ‘Wellington Watch’ updates, and I’m thankful. It’s been nice going back and reading those posts, because I’m realising a lot of my current ailments (severe back pain, poor eyesight, moodiness) were all present with my Rhys pregnancy. This is reassuring. I also appreciate all the photos I took, how honest I was, the topics I chose to write about, and the fact that I posted my weight gain progress. I find it fascinating to compare for some reason.
I’m also really thankful for grandparents, and the large amount of family who live in the same city as us. If there is anything I have learned over the last 2 years it’s that it truly takes a village.
I’m also really thankful for grandparents, and the large amount of family who live in the same city as us. If there is anything I have learned over the last 2 years it’s that it truly takes a village.
Emotions I’m Toying with Lately
I’m not sure how exactly to put it into words, but I’ve got this anxious/sad/worrisome feeling about how having another child will affect my relationship with Rhys. Right now Rhys is my EVERYTHING. But surely this new little boy will be my everything as well? How can I have TWO ‘everythings’? My heart breaks just thinking about it. I worry that all this means is that Rhys gets LESS. Less of me, less of Warren, less of his grandparents. I think I need some words of wisdom and experience from my mom friends. And I don’t want generic wisdom like ‘there is room in your heart for both kids’ or whatever. I need real advice, a real heads-up on what to expect. Will Rhys suddenly annoy me with his energy in comparison to the sleepy little bundle of joy? Will I find the new baby boring and needy compared to Rhys’ comedic and independent personality? Will I want to document every little thing Paddington does the way I did with Rhys, or will it be a ‘been there, done that’ kind of thing? It’s so hard to imagine what it will be like. When Rhys was tiny I would sing this song to him “Whooooo’s got...the cutest little chin....in the whole wide world? Rhyyyyyys does!” And I would cycle through all his little body parts. But how can this new baby have the cutest of anything, with Rhys standing right there? Again. Heart breaking.
Gender & Honesty Overload
The reality that I will not have a daughter took a little while to sink in, I’m not going to lie. It wasn’t a feeling of disappointment at all – I describe it more as a feeling of openended-ness. As if I lacked some closure. A door was still left open. It was unsettling. In some ways I felt like I had to ‘put on a brave face’ because how awful is it to not to be overjoyed in every way possible when you’re expecting a healthy baby? I read a lot of blogs about families who have been to hell and back when it comes to fertility, prematurity, lifelong disabilities and even death. I consider myself someone who has a good, or at least modest, perspective on the topic. And yet, I still had to put on a brave face. And I am ashamed of that.
But the wonderful thing is, that after a few short days of ‘letting it sink in’, I quickly filled with excitement and the feeling of ‘this is just right’.
A close friend of mine recently had a baby girl – we both had our boys at the same time – and someone at work said to her ‘Welcome to the Million Dollar Family Club’. I heard this, and my heart sank. Because that’s how it is, isn’t it? The perfect mom/dad/boy/girl and a family dog. Picture Perfect. But the reality is, no family is perfect. Or, maybe more true is all our families are perfect. Just what we need. Just what our kids need. A boy tribe. A girl tribe. A mixed tribe. Our tribe.
I’m thrilled to have a life to look forward to with ‘My Boys’. Sweet, polite, cuddly, rough & tumble, eating worms and breaking hearts, boys.
But the wonderful thing is, that after a few short days of ‘letting it sink in’, I quickly filled with excitement and the feeling of ‘this is just right’.
A close friend of mine recently had a baby girl – we both had our boys at the same time – and someone at work said to her ‘Welcome to the Million Dollar Family Club’. I heard this, and my heart sank. Because that’s how it is, isn’t it? The perfect mom/dad/boy/girl and a family dog. Picture Perfect. But the reality is, no family is perfect. Or, maybe more true is all our families are perfect. Just what we need. Just what our kids need. A boy tribe. A girl tribe. A mixed tribe. Our tribe.
I’m thrilled to have a life to look forward to with ‘My Boys’. Sweet, polite, cuddly, rough & tumble, eating worms and breaking hearts, boys.
Belly Pics
According to my pregnancy ticker, Paddington is the size of a squash right now. Good times. I love squash. P.S. - I think these photos are proof that black IS slimming. Seriously. My belly looks double the size when it's 'naked'.
Things I am LOVING these days
2 comments:
What an amazingly awesome post! You are so great. We will talk about the second child thing, but just know for now, you will have two "everythings", and everyone will be okay with that. What you said about every family being perfect? That is exactly how it is, one child, two children or more children. PS: You can sing the "cutest" song to baby in the middle of the night, when the two of you are alone.
That is an awesome post. I miss these!!! My two cents on the second child is this....on the one hand, I do think people who are the "only child" do get more from their parents and extended families. More attention, more goodies, etc. However, the are an ONLY child and having been raised in that way (sort of) I felt lonely. a lot. But when you have two children, they always have a friend, a playmate, and I think it's much more fun for them and honestly, as a parent it's far easier on you when they can entertain each other. Even if they don't stay bffs forever, there will always be that feeling that they are not alone.
As for the million dollar club, I think it's normal to feel somewhat disappointed that you don't get one of each, especially when you have outside pressure (like grandparents) saying "Wouldn't it be great if you had a girl????" And to be able to raise both sexes and experience the differences would be cool no doubt. But I will say this, having two of the same gender is easier I think. And if you are lazy like me, that's a nice bonus.
Anyway, an interesting conversation topic. Let's get together soon and we can all give you our two cents. 'Cause more advice is really what you need right??? ;-)
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