Cronin Chronicles: Remembrance Day

Ever since Warren and I started the tradition of attending the Remembrance Day ceremony at the Military Museum about four years ago, it has become something I really look forward to. And, as I discovered this year, something I feel very guilty about missing. We went back and forth on the decision. First it looked like Warren would need to be showing clients earlier in the morning, so we wouldn't attend. Then it turned out his appointments wouldn't start until 1pm - plenty of time! But then, the forecast was predicting -16 degrees in the early hours, so we made the choice not to go this year, especially with Kyle still so young. And I felt SO guilty. Warren thought I was being ridiculous (he thinks I have 'guilt' issues). But all I could think was 'People left their families to fight wars...we shouldn't mind standing in the cold for an hour'. It's also like when you're invited to a function, maybe a birthday party, and you decide not to go, and you tell yourself 'oh, lots of people are going, no one will really notice if I'm not there, so it's not a big deal'. But there is significance in numbers. It matters. Anyway... So no pictures of Kyle and Rhys freezing their butts off this year.

Instead, Rhys and I spent the morning visiting at a friends' house, then we all headed to Nana and GranDan's to celebrate his 82nd birthday. And of course, I had left the camera at home.

So, here is a completely unrelated, slightly old, picture of my two loves...sitting in a laundry basket.

And I am thankful. And I remember.

Dear Mr. Rhys,

The months since your first birthday have whizzed by, and they've been filled with highs and lows. One thing I'm learning about 'having kids' is that it's easy to gloss over each passing stage, and forget the miserable bits. This is because there is a beautiful bright light that you emit into our lives, no matter how crumby a time we're having at any given moment. I want to make an effort to document our growing pains, and joys, with the same detail.

Joys:

Watching you LEARN. The child rearing books are right...mind numbing repetition works. It's hard to describe the elation I felt when I turned the page of your picture book (that we'd seen dozens of times) to reveal an image of a train, and unprompted you instantly pumped your fist in the air and proudly whispered 'tsuu!tsuu!', and then smiled up at me for reassurance. "THAT'S RIGHT BABY! Choo Choo Train!!". In that moment you taught me that even though you are not yet talking, you are most certainly LISTENING. And absorbing. And interpreting. And storing. You are already more complex than you appear. I am so proud. You get more and more words by the day (I use the term 'word' loosely - more like syllables that your dad & I recognize as words) but you still don't say mum or dad. The one true 'word' you have mastered very recently, is NO. You have also learned some of your body parts. You can point to your nose, ears, mouth, feet and belly, and you blink your eyes when asked 'Where are Rhys' EYES?'.

Watching you develop PREFERENCES. You have developed a love of books, which is lovely, but also exhausting. Sometimes, your dad & I just want you to PLAY BY YOURSELF for a minute. I know that you don't mind hearing nursery Rhymes ad nauseum, but grown-ups can only physically handle so many row-row-row-your-boats before their brains explode. Sorry, Rhys, that's just science. Mama doesn't make the rules of the Universe. You like books, but not all books are created equal. Your favorites right now are your Baby Einstein Look & Seek picture book, your 2 Halloween/Pumpkin books and your 'DOGS' book that has the tabs you can pull that make the tails wag. And your all-time favorite right now is 'Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb'. If I do or say something that reminds you of that book (like recite the words by memory, or drum on my knee with my fingers) you will run to your bedroom, find it on your bookshelf, and bring it to me. Your favorite way to 'read' books, is to point out different pictures on on the page. "Show mummy the....MOON! Show mummy...a STAR!". So far you can identify the following images in a book, with a 90% accuracy rate: moon, star, cow, bumble bee, airplane, frog, elephant, dog, cat, ghost, bunny, pumpkin, bird, bubble, boat, ducky, banana, ball. When you're not sure (or when you just want to make us laugh) you shrug your shoulders and lift your hands in air as if to say 'I dunno'. This is something you must have learned at daycare.

HUGS. You have finally discovered to joy of cuddling, and will relax in my arms instead of always trying to squirm away. I especially love the 3 second 'hug breaks' you take while playing. "Well, mum's right there, so I might as well give her a hug - oh look, my golf clubs!", and off you go.

Pains:

MOLARS. You now have 12 teeth, 4 of which are molars. Those evil suckers look huge in your soft toddler gums. We're 80% sure they are the reason your night time sleep habits have gone to hell in a handbag. Ever since you were 2 months old, you have slept like a champion most nights. You spoiled us in that regard. And now, for the last month or so, we're struggling to cope with your 2-3 times a night wake-ups. SCREAMING. Crying. Pouting. EVERY FRIGGING NIGHT. With no fever and nothing visibly wrong, there is only so much Advil, sippy cups full of water and rocking you in our arms that we can do before we begin to wonder if you are really in pain, or if we're somehow creating these bad habits in our attempts to soothe you. The self doubt is almost as agonizing as the lack of sleep.

MOODS. Because none of us have had a solid, uninterrupted sleep for a very long time, we're all moody. Personally, I get irritable, impatient and some days I just feel angry in general. It really underlines how important the basic need for SLEEP really is. Because when I'm like this, I can see it and feel it but am powerless to turn it around. I just don't feel like myself. Your Dad's lack of sleep usually manifests itself as stress. After a bad night sleep, you will usually just roam the house whining, looking for trouble, touching things you know you shouldn't touch, and tossing your toys on the floor like a spoiled brat. But we FORGIVE ourselves and each other. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Or so we're told. At least so far it's nothing a good nap can't cure.

MOBILITY. Rhys, you have no fear, and obviously no concept of danger. You have started pushing items together so that you can climb up onto things. I swear to God Above that I witnessed you nearly ESCAPE from your crib. In the video baby monitor I watched you stand up on some stacked stuffed animals, and simultaneously pull yourself up, nearly doing a somersault over the rail onto your head. Luckily you didn't quite manage it - this time. We may need to invest in a crib tent, though, because 16 months is way too early to move you to a toddler bed.

For my readers who didn't have the energy to read all that (and I don't blame you), here are some pics...:-)

On Rhys' 16 month 'anniversary' we went to the zoo early in the morning.

Rhys was very skeptical of the playground...and the lack of other children in it: