A Letter To Paris Baby

Dear Paris Baby,

First of all, I guess I should clarify one thing. You were not neccesarily conceived in Paris. You may have been conceived in London or, maybe even Bath. It's difficult to know for sure. So, maybe a more appropriate name for you is European Union Baby. Or EU Baby for short. But, I like the sound of Paris Baby, so I'll stick with that for now.

There's maybe one other thing I should clarify before I move on. There is a good possibility that you don't even exist. Which would mean the title of this post should be A Letter To Non-Existent Baby. Which would also mean, I have officially gone insane. So for the duration of this post, I will pretend you do, in fact, exist.

Warren & I (Warren is your Dad, but he's still Warren to me, so I will still refer to him as Warren, but I just want to make sure you understand who this 'Warren' guy is) have been talking about starting our family for a while now, but we decided our trip to Europe would be the official kick-off. I know you're way too young to understand the complexities of a woman's reproductive system - trust me - I barely understand them myself - but all you need to know is that the timing of this trip fell right on the 'perfect' time of my 'cycle'. Hopefully that's not TMI, but you're the Fruit Of My Loins for goodness sakes, so if I can't talk to you about these things, who can I talk to?

Needless to say, Warren & I were quite excited and delighted with our luck, because I seriously can't remember the last vacation we took where Aunt Flo didn't come along (you don't really have an Aunt named Flo - I'll explain another time).

Back to the complexities yada yada that you're to young to grasp yada yada...we are now back from this trip to Europe, but there are still a few days before we will know for sure if you exist. About 3 or 4 days ago, I was getting the bloated, back pain, crampiness that comes a week or so before Aunt Flo arrives. This was a bit disappointing. Having never been pregnant before, I have no idea if it's normal to experience PMS symptoms before a missed period. So, I told Warren (and myself) not to get his hopes up. But, today my 'symptoms' have felt a tiny bit different than I remember. They feel lighter, weaker, mixed in with the oddest 'fluttering' feeling - kind of like a tickle. I know the most likely explanation is wishful thinking, but a part of me is holding out hope.

I am not a superstitious person, so I have no problem writing to you about these things. You should know, some women won't so much as look at a cute onesie on sale if they are trying for a baby. But, here I am. I'm either writing to an unfertilized egg about to be washed out of my system just like every other month, or, I'm talking to a microscopic mass of cells that will someday be YOU.