A Letter From My Uterus

Dear 'Management',

Look, Lady.

We don't know who it is you think you are, but prancing around writing non-sensical letters to an imaginary union working inside your uterus is an indication of borderline dementia, wouldn't ya say?

Let's just imagine for a moment that we were willing to go along with this ridiculous notion, we would certainly point out the less-than-ideal working conditions in here. It's pitch black for God's Sake. You try doing your job when you can't see your computer screen or the numbers on the phone - never mind locating & accommodating a microscopic mass of cells.

We'd also certainly point out the lack of gratitude you have demonstrated for the years of dedicated service we've provided to this point. Until recently, Project Baby Bump had been strictly prohibited, and myself and my fellow workers have delivered exceptional results. Then suddenly you decide on a whim that no, Project BB is a good idea, and you expect that we switch gears on a dime. This is unrealistic and naive on your part.

However, we do want to pass on our heartfelt sympathies for the failure and subsequent losses that were experienced in June. We understand that such painful times would cause you to play the blame game and crack the whip. The reality is, however, that there is no union inside your uterus. There is no one to blame.

We hope that by writing that letter you were merely trying to express your anxiety in a satirical way, for your own journaling purposes. If this is not the case, then we suggest you seek help. NOW.

Cheers,
The non-existant union inside your uterus